Kunty and Wonder

Kunty and Wonder

Our summer superhero's are still plowing through the list that the Great Schlong has given them in order to satisfy the Hampton Elite, when the happen onto yet another pool. It's cold and raining and Wonder has had about ENOUGH. They pull the cover off of said pool and as Wonder drags out the equipment to start over boarding the beast Kunty is looking around the shed (that would put most two bedroom houses to shame) for the cover bag and the baskets and eyeballs for the returns. One of the shed doors and locked, so Kunty walks around to the other the whole while Wonder is cussing and muttering trying to get things done. As Kunty comes back around the shed reporting that there is no sign of said cover bag and that even if there was there would be no way to get it as the shed is chock full of SHIT that most people will NEVER use in their lifetime. So they give up momentarily, and get to work. While Kunty is vacing out the pool, because being the controller that she is Wonder does not do it fast enough, Wonder goes about backwashing the filter and getting the chems ready to put in the pool as soon as Kunty is done. Wonder however soon gets bored, (seeing as how she has the attention span of a goldfish this happens quite often) and decides to investigate the shed further. Walking into the shed Wonder finds the light switch and begins to look around. To her relief she finds the cover bag, shoved in the far right corner of the shed. She begins to climb over chairs and boxes and rugs and tables and other such things when she happens to find a few piles of shit. Wonder who along with a short attention span has a vivid imagination stops cold. Wondering if she should continue or just back out and pretend that she never saw anything decides to continue on with her venture and grab the stupid f@#$ing cover bag and get the hell out. Wonder returns from the shed and shows her prize to Kunty who at this time is fighting a rose bush near the equipment because NO ONE knows how to prune their shrubbery. "Great you found it where was it at?" she asks Wonder, "In the far right corner of the shed" ' Well it's one last thing we have to worry about right!?' "Yes' responds Wonder, ' but either they have a small dog or a very large rodent problem' Why would you say that" Kunty asks. So Wonder proceeds to tell her of the obstacle course and the shit piles and then adds ' I think they are breeding King Cobra's and must have mongooses' to control the over breeding.' At this Kunty laughs so loud and hard that she is doubled over, and when she stands up gets snagged by a thorn and receives a most horrifying injury to the scalp. Cussing and screaming and standing up out of breath from laughing, they leave the mongoose house in East Hampton with blood running down Kunty's face only to fight another day.

The Adventures of Kunty and Wonder

The Enoch Incident

So it's the summer of pool bitching and our heros, yes I did say hero's Kunty Kunterson and Wonder Titts who are yet again working for the order of the Schlong in trying to get the pools right for the Hampton Elite along side their more humble coworkers whom we shall describe at a later date. Kunty and Wonder are slamming through the openings one fine May morning thinking hey we will DEFINITELY have these pools on the Great Schlong's list open by Memorial Day, when they happen upon the dreaded Nappeauge Stretch to the Horrid Enoch Pool. Now keep in mind that this pool is a vyn-all pool and is in DESPERATE need of a new liner, but with the evil Enoch forces refusing to replace it for YEARS the pool shows no signs of hope until in their trusty white steed our super hero's arrive, ok so it was a white ford van with the pool company logo on the side but you get the point. After two days of filling, again NEW LINER ENOCH they take off the cover only to find that the blue liner is GREEN from the Alge. So they do what any good pool bitch would do and they pull out all the stops the over board pump the extra hoses the extension cords the 5gallons of liquid chlorine the nets the brushes ALL OF IT. Well, while our unsuspecting hero's are working in separate area's the equipment decides to help the pool try and take them down. Fist Kunty can be heard yelling and cussing by the filter and pump. Then wonder sets up the overboard and starts to suck the algae out of said pool. Unsuspecting Kunty wanders on to the deck only to be tripped by the extension cord. The pump STOPS. Kunty and Wonder gaze at each other wonder what is going to happen next, when all of a sudden, there is a sizzling sound and THE CORDS CATCH FIRE. Now our hero's always the professionals look at each other and start screaming like the girls they are, until Wonder Titts has the where with all to shout at Kunty Kunterson "UNPLUG THE CORD UNPLUG THE CORD" Kunty sprints to the side of the house and unplugs the extension cord while the fire continues to grow. Why not just throw said pump into the pool to extinguish the flames you ask? Because at the precise moment our superhero's were both TOOLS. Lucky for them in the misdt of all the girlie screaming there was a running house and Kunty started to put out the fire. Alas, order was restored and Kunty and Wonder picked up the implements of destruction, I mean pool cleaning and said to each other "FUCK THIS LET'S GO HAVE A BEER"